New Year's Resolutions

Well it is day four of 2011 and I am all ready not doing so hot in the keeping up with my resolutions department. I decided that I must put them out into the world first, so here it goes:

#1) Eat breakfast every day! I have all ready failed at this as I only ate breakfast on the first. I really need to pick up some things from the store that I can grab and go. The problem is that I don't get up early enough to eat breakfast. I guess I should make a resolution to get up earlier but I tried this in the past and it just doesn't work for me. Eating breakfast every day will give me more energy, help balance my diet as long as it is healthy, and hopefully help me drop some pounds which leads me to resolution......

#2) Drop 40lbs. I will not even start exercising until the spring so lets not get started on that until the temperature goes up a good 20 degrees.

#3) Rid my life of toxic relationships, I don't need the extra drama and stress, if it isn't good for me I just don't need it and they will soon be seeing and hearing much less of me.

#4) Get a new JOB! Enough said.

#5) Get back to giving. Volunteering use to be a big part of my life and I have really fallen out of it so I picked a project and I will be working with a very small new Nonprofit cat rescue helping them with their fundraising. I love animals and they need my help.


#6) Take time for me every day, I use to take much better care of myself, do the little things like care for my skin a little better, do my nails every week or just soak in a tub. I am going to blog every week instead of journaling and I am also going to try to meditate. I have never done it before but I think it could be good for me to try. The hard part will be finding a completely quiet place to do it in!

So that's it, I am hoping I can at least hit half of them.

The Ghost of Christmas Past, Present, and Future.

I was reminiscing the other day, just thinking of my favorite Christmas memories. I have many happy memories and I have a few not so happy ones. I think it is important to remember them all good and bad. I remember vaguely my first Christmas with my Dad. I remember the pajamas I was wearing, a little blue flannel set, and a baby doll. Just a flash, almost like a dream me holding my doll in the air smiling showing MY Daddy. That's a happy memory, I have memories of making candies with my Mom, any time spent with her during the holidays are my favorites. I remember my Dad use to work nights and he was in school during the day so she and I would spend a whole day cleaning the house and decorating, putting up the tree and checking the lights, the billion lights! Our family tree has always been a fire hazard. Then there were special nights that we would stay up all night making fudge and truffles, peanut butter and coconut balls, and every type of cookie you could imagine. I hope to one day make memories like those with girls of my own. Then came my sister, My favorite Christmas memory with my sister was our first back in South Carolina. We got a trampoline and a go-cart that year. We hadn't been on that damn thing for more than twenty minutes. I hogged the darn thing because I just knew she would wreck it. Her first lap up and back down the driveway and didn't she slam the thing into a tree. It was ok and funny afterward but I was so mad when I thought she totalled it. I didn't want to let her drive again but Daddy let her and I just remember how happy she was, I can still see her in her jeans and denim jacket, long brown curly hair blowing in the wind smiling and laughing all the way. The older I get the more I value the little things that make this time of year special to me. I think it all began Christmas of 2003 which was my worst Christmas by far. I spent it alone, just me and Remington. I felt completely alone, I was living in an unfurnished apartment, all I had was a television and an air mattress. That year I had a tree with one strand of white lights, and a few decorations but no presents that year. The story is a long one so I will not get into it but it gave me a greater appreciation for what this season truly means. I stayed up all night watching Christmas specials, my favorite being Merry Christmas Charlie Brown. Now it isn't Christmas if I don't get to see that special. Just like in the Grinch, Christmas came with out stockings, packages, or bags, there was no feast. It was humbling. I learned a lot that year, a lot about myself and what was truly important. I decided that Christmas day that I would never spend another one alone, I would always be surrounded by friends and family because that is what its all about. Christmas 2007 was spectacular. I got married that December and we spent the first two weeks of the month in Disney World and on a Disney Cruise, that was one magical Christmas. There was a lot to celebrate that year. Christmas of 2009 was one of just being thankful that he survived. This year I can't help but look back on the past six years and remember how he and I just use to shine at this time of year. I can't believe this is probably our last. Even thought there are so many uncertain things in my life right now I still have hope for the Christmas of my future. I see myself with someone special surrounded by love, with my traditions and hopefully my children giving them memories they will forever cherish.