Wednesday, October 27, 2010
An old journal.....
A little over a year ago when we moved into this house, I went through box after box while unpacking with the idea that I would eliminate clutter early by throwing out any and all junk that could possibly just sit and collect dust. I found things I couldn't explain. I had no idea why I kept them, random drawings, rocks, old awards from Elementary School, apparently at some point they meant something to me. I came across a journal that I kept in college to collect my thoughts, favorite quotes, and the few personal secrets I felt comfortable putting on paper. I went through and copied the entries I really wanted to keep before I torched the rest of it. I can't believe I ever put some of those things on paper, now they are stored safely in my mind. Oh well, the following are the few notes to myself that I find are important things for me to remember.
11/2/02 Dear Self, Please take note of the fact that if you know your doing something wrong, especially one of those wrong things that seems so right at the moment despite that little voice screaming at you from the inside, no matter how big or small it may actually be, it will come back on you double or nothing; so make sure to make he most of these moments for although they may be your best they may also lead to your worst. One things for sure, the end they will all be unforgettable!
11/11/02 Dear Self, Always look in the mirror and say that telling him how I feel was the right thing to do (NOT), Just make sure you understand that when you put your heart in the path of others it is made more than available to trample over! But never hold back, it can only make things worse. Oh Yeah, be happy for those that have what you desire, let their joy only motivate you to do whatever it takes to obtain your hearts desires.
1/4/03 Dear Self, Please refer to this memo when you feel as if your day has been lost and you should have just stayed in bed!
“Everyday is a good day simply because you wake up!”
You need to remember that all of life is a game and if you say it enough you will eventually believe it. SO! This semester when someone asks you how are you today reply with a great or really good and that is the way it will end.
2/19/03 Dear Self, Learn to say no and prioritize. I know it is hard and although you would love to help others as much as possible, you have to stop and help your self! It is ok to let go and do something for you on occasion. Stop feeling bad for spending your cash on yourself if everything else is taken care of!
6/4/03 Dear Self, never deny yourself the love of another. If they want to give it, take it, fill yourself up to the brim with it and then share your love with them. We need to feel loved some times, like we are wanted, desired, cherished, its good for our souls. So take it all in and grow.
8/6/03 Dear Self, You are never nor have you ever been guaranteed another day, second, min, hour, night ect. Make them most of them all.
11/4/03 Dear Self, It is not now nor was it ever a punishment. Remind yourself this daily. It makes life easier when you can stop and just remember, you were all ready trained for this!
3/12/04 Dear Self: You were warned that life isn’t easy. You were told that it was going to be hard. You are now sitting on the bottom, good luck climbing back up to the top! No one is going to drop you a rope so start to dig now before its too late, slow and steady at an angle is the best way up and out. Take caution to the tools that people hand you, for they are often old and rusty tricks that will only waist your time. Trust no one, not even yourself.
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