The Ghost of Christmas Past, Present, and Future.

I was reminiscing the other day, just thinking of my favorite Christmas memories. I have many happy memories and I have a few not so happy ones. I think it is important to remember them all good and bad. I remember vaguely my first Christmas with my Dad. I remember the pajamas I was wearing, a little blue flannel set, and a baby doll. Just a flash, almost like a dream me holding my doll in the air smiling showing MY Daddy. That's a happy memory, I have memories of making candies with my Mom, any time spent with her during the holidays are my favorites. I remember my Dad use to work nights and he was in school during the day so she and I would spend a whole day cleaning the house and decorating, putting up the tree and checking the lights, the billion lights! Our family tree has always been a fire hazard. Then there were special nights that we would stay up all night making fudge and truffles, peanut butter and coconut balls, and every type of cookie you could imagine. I hope to one day make memories like those with girls of my own. Then came my sister, My favorite Christmas memory with my sister was our first back in South Carolina. We got a trampoline and a go-cart that year. We hadn't been on that damn thing for more than twenty minutes. I hogged the darn thing because I just knew she would wreck it. Her first lap up and back down the driveway and didn't she slam the thing into a tree. It was ok and funny afterward but I was so mad when I thought she totalled it. I didn't want to let her drive again but Daddy let her and I just remember how happy she was, I can still see her in her jeans and denim jacket, long brown curly hair blowing in the wind smiling and laughing all the way. The older I get the more I value the little things that make this time of year special to me. I think it all began Christmas of 2003 which was my worst Christmas by far. I spent it alone, just me and Remington. I felt completely alone, I was living in an unfurnished apartment, all I had was a television and an air mattress. That year I had a tree with one strand of white lights, and a few decorations but no presents that year. The story is a long one so I will not get into it but it gave me a greater appreciation for what this season truly means. I stayed up all night watching Christmas specials, my favorite being Merry Christmas Charlie Brown. Now it isn't Christmas if I don't get to see that special. Just like in the Grinch, Christmas came with out stockings, packages, or bags, there was no feast. It was humbling. I learned a lot that year, a lot about myself and what was truly important. I decided that Christmas day that I would never spend another one alone, I would always be surrounded by friends and family because that is what its all about. Christmas 2007 was spectacular. I got married that December and we spent the first two weeks of the month in Disney World and on a Disney Cruise, that was one magical Christmas. There was a lot to celebrate that year. Christmas of 2009 was one of just being thankful that he survived. This year I can't help but look back on the past six years and remember how he and I just use to shine at this time of year. I can't believe this is probably our last. Even thought there are so many uncertain things in my life right now I still have hope for the Christmas of my future. I see myself with someone special surrounded by love, with my traditions and hopefully my children giving them memories they will forever cherish.